Nom Internets

“I used to work for Scotland Yard…”

NYC!Sherlock is a huge fan of London!Sherlock’s blog. (Or should we say, London!Watson’s blog.) After struggling with addiction, shame, and a dark past, NYC!Sherlock moves to America—where Sherlock Holmes is relatively unknown—and assumes the hero’s identity, as a way of working through his inner struggles.

Even though he’s living a lie, he “finds himself” in his new role, and finds healing in his companionship with a woman named Joan. The series build-up is “Sherlock” moving toward a place where he can confront who he really is, and consolidate his past with his present. Unfortunately, his hand will be forced when it turns out that the real Sherlock Holmes actually did fake his death, and is making a media storm with his triumphant return, back in England. There will probably be a tear-jerking, heart-rending moment with Joan, in which he breaks down and admits his self-hatred and past misdeeds. And of course Joan will point out that he’s grown beyond that, throughout their adventures together, and that the man she knows is one she can only respect and care about—whether his name is “Sherlock Holmes” or John Doe.

And he finds that when he “comes out” to the police officers he works with—who he thought hated him—they all take it with equal stride. Think it’s sort of funny, really. Because they’ve come to respect his talents, and it really doesn’t matter to them that he was working under an assumed name.

So they all keep calling him “Sherlock”, and he and Joan get a flat together, and everyone lives happily ever after, solving crimes and holding hands.

Meanwhile, in England, the original Sherlock can’t find anything in his cabinets, because John has rearranged everything while he was gone. There are bags of tea and packs of digestives where the formaldehyde used to be. Dammit, John!

I can honestly say that I’ve been sitting in the “give it a chance” camp, with a fair dose of “uncomfortable and skeptical because of the production politics.” I’ve been avoiding posts that loudly and colorfully denounce the show before we know anything about it, because that’s not really fair to the people working hard on it, and so on.

But I just watched the preview. And I have to say.

That was the most tasteless thing I have ever seen.

What makes our version so interesting is that it’s set in modern day? I’m sorry, what an absolutely shameless thing to say, without so much as a nod or a reference to BBC Sherlock. Yes, setting Doyle’s stories in “contemporary” times has been done before Sherlock, but you’re doing so in response to the success of such a production, and what’s more, you’re doing it while that show is still running. In fact, you blatantly asked them to remake their show, and they said no.

And now you really have the guts to release a preview bragging about the modernization concept, as if it were your inspiration?

What’s more, absolutely every—and I mean every—production comment in that entire preview was a stripped down version of insights that we’ve been listening to from the BBC crew, or extremely hollow you’re-not-quite-getting-it echoes of Holmesian truisms, or they were disgustingly troped-down assessments of the caricatures characters.

Don’t even get me started on “Watson.” That is, the character who has absolutely nothing in common with the character of Watson (besides “coming from an emotional place”; ugh), but just happens to share the name. I guess a female veteran and (license-holding, tyvm) doctor was TOO MUCH for them to handle. The fact that she is a “hired sober-companion”- I had to let out a very long, slow breath. I’m so angry that I’m seeing white.

The last shot in the preview more or less confirmed my fears that casting a female “Watson” was merely license to step up the flirtation without having to worry about The Gay. So not only is our female Watson so watered down as to be unrecognizable, she was blatantly cast to create socially acceptable sexual tension. (Read: sexual tension that sells in America.)

And is it just me, or is CBS’s interpretation of Sherlock’s character a cheap, knock-off CLONE of the BBC Sherlock? The Doyle Sherlock, while eccentric and sometimes harsh, is, in general, a very polite character. He’s certainly delicate when interviewing victims of trauma—as much as he can be, anyway. Part of what’s interesting about the BBC version is their exploration of an “early days” Holmes, who is still young, rash, and unrefined. It’s actually an incredibly unique and brilliant interpretation of the character—this sort of out-of-control, savant-ish, pathologically unempathetic character who needs Watson to tell him when there’s sarcasm in the room—and CBS blatantly copy-and-pasted that interpretation. To extremely annoying effect, I might add.

Seriously, the scene where CBS Sherlock is interviewing that choking victim and gets absurdly insensitive, which results in Joan Watson jumping out of her seat and crying stop, looked like REALLY, really bad fan fiction come to life.

I hope the BBC sues CBS for every penny they’re worth. Scoundrels.

From the PBS livechat:

Danielle: I love everyone on the show and I adore your portrayal of Mycroft. As well as Rupert’s as Lestrade. In ‘Hounds’ he says “I don’t just do what your brother tells me.” Will we get a chance to see more inter-action between the two?

Mark Gatiss: Mycroft and Lestrade haven’t appeared in any scenes together yet so it would be nice and Rupert’s such a lovely man, it’d be a pleasure. Have you seen ‘Maurice’? Haha

(Screencap from Maurice)

I am cramming for a final.

Brain about to overload.

Need. Johnlock. Porn.

Give me fic recs, pleeease! Preferably popular fics that are more recent; I think I’ve read all the heavy hitters of yesteryear.

The nastier, dirtier, and smuttier, the better!

Askbox is OPEN, yo. Or just reply.

(Picture of [Benedict’s?] ravished torso vaguely related.)